In a 110-to-61 landslide, chess Grandmaster Garry Kasparov has lost his bid for the World Chess Federation presidency to a man who says that he was abducted by aliens. It's easily Kasparov's most embarrassing defeat in years, maybe since a scrappy little abacus named Deep Blue straight-up taught him how to play chess.

Dropping from 33,000 feet above Donetsk in eastern Ukraine, Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 crashed yesterday, detonating into a dark plume of smoke upon impact with a field of bloomed wheat. The second tragedy to befall Malaysia Airlines this year, following the unresolved vanishing of flight 370, dude, it was aliens.