In what looks like the exact legal definition of a criminal conspiracy, the CFO of "China's Urban Footwear Company" Ultrasonic has informed the public and the firm's Supervisory Board that its CEO and COO have "apparently left their homes and are not traceable." Also: The money's gone.

Illicit drugs: They're not for winners at coin-op arcades, according to former FBI director William Sessions. Members of Instagram's still thriving drug trade should take note. Dealing drugs illegally is also frowned upon, but technology has never made it easier or safer than it does on Instagram right now.

Along with Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker, and his wife, Jan, Paul Crouch founded the Trinity Broadcasting Network in 1973 with the simple goal of spreading Our Lord's message of mercy and love. Along with mobsters, Paul Crouch was involved in a "narcotics transfer of funds" according to a recently declassified FBI file.

A funny thing's happened in Finland. Scores of its monied elite have filed requests to correct their tax data this summer—suddenly recollecting that they'd stashed earnings away in Swiss banks. Truly, this is the end of an era, thanks entirely to a U.S.-led crackdown on tax evasion. It's also a strange new beginning.

Costa Rica's Judicial Investigation Police (OIJ) confiscated roughly 400-kilos of cocaine and $1.5 million at a private airstrip on the Hilton family-owned Rancho Horizonte in the country's northern Cañas region. Three Nicaraguans were among the arrested, (realistically) because of leftover Iran-Contra bullshit.

Pulitzer prize-winner Gary Webb is arguably the reason we know anything about CIA complicity in the crack-cocaine epidemic of the 1980s—collateral damage of the Reagan administration's desire to fund the Contras despite three Congressional amendments forbidding them. Even more admirably, Webb did not have a goatee.

Disguised as workers in a white van, a team of eight masked gunmen pulled off the largest heist in Chilean history without firing a single shot. The BBC reports that the money was on route to banks and mining operations in Copiapó, a rich silver and copper mining district in northern Chile.

Churlish hamster Grover Norquist nearly brought the U.S. to the brink of default three years ago, pressuring legislators with his "Taxpayer Protection Pledge" into a debt ceiling battle that was both dangerous and inane. This year, Norquist plans to attend Burning Man, which he sees as a stateless capitalist Utopia.

Star, a tentacle of tabloid kraken American Media, Inc., has a special "Who Shot JFK Jr.!" issue out. (No question mark!) Their answer: "Muslim terror kingpin Osama bin Laden." Or the Mob. Also, LBJ killed JFK, they report. It is a breathless corroboration of the far Right's favorite JFK conspiracy phantasies.