No one. There is no one you can trust. The adorable dogs you once thought were "man's best friend" have all along been knights in the secretive lodge of the Masonic Elect.

New Benghazi-related court documents have emerged, specifically the government's case against releasing Ahmed Abu Khattala (the attack's suspected leader), pretrial, on bail; you know. The Washington Post has the story — along with this ballpoint pen sketch of Khattala that's good, despite having interrupted Post illustrator Richard Johnson's vacation day mowing his lawn.

Fiji, Mali, San Marino, Trinidad and Tobago, Papua New Guinea, Kiribati: These are easy nations to spy on, just to juke the stats.

This is some classic Reno bullshit, right here.

As you may know, your $630 NSA Red Flag — SGP Technologies' encryption-happy Blackphone — is now shipping worldwide! And Ars Technica has the exclusive, spec-heavy (and deeply schizophrenic) first review of planet's Earth's most paranoid smartphone. Remember: You hide, they seek.

There's a humanitarian crisis erupting on our nation's southern border. Or there is a ruthless plot — orchestrated by the Obama administration — to irrevocably shift the demography of Texas, and thus the whole country, into the Democratic Party's favor. Forever. Rational adults can differ on this. Let's examine.