Are you on the market for a folding, SWAT-style grappling hook, rope included, with a matte black finish? Well, I've received a "4th of July" discount code from the fine folks at Southord, manufacturer of precision lock picking devices (long story). AND SO:

I will be giving the code away to the first (and only the first) interested party to send me a successfully encrypted email, matthew.phelan@gawker.com. Post a link to your Public PGP Key either below or more discreetly via a normal email. Mine is here.

(Nota bene, people! This sale is 25 percent off on all of their products and extends all the way from July 4th until July 31st. As of EDT 13:25 07.04.14 no one has successfully secured the code. The statement "all of their products" includes nunchaks; tubular lock picks; slim jims for jimmying car doors open; wide jims — which (yeah) I had never heard of before either — for same; many, many knives; katana blades; and that lock pick gun Mike used on Breaking Bad which is under fifty bucks!)

You will enjoy this experience. Even Southord's catalog copy is fun:

If you're a hiker, a climber, a SWAT Team member, or just "weird", you need our folding grappling hook. Comes with 33 feet of rope. Why 33 feet? Don't know.

¯\(º_o)/¯

That is a healthy two-to-three stories of rope, though!