CBS This Morning—a place Charlie Rose exists outside the dark void of his own studio—can't seem to wrap its head around why a former Minnesota governor and patriotic veteran might want to sue for defamation over an insulting, fabricated story that appeared in a New York Times bestselling memoir. Well:

As previously seen on Gawker, Ventura successfully sued former Navy SEAL Chris Kyle over a self-serving bar fight anecdote in his bestselling book American Sniper, which 8 out of 10 jury members deemed to be a not true story, or a lie. The jury also said that Kyle's estate should pay Ventura $500,000 for defamation and $1.3 million for unjust enrichment: a modest sum considering that Kyle's memoir-fantasia has earned his estate roughly $6 million thus far, and was optioned for a film, by a now surely disappointed movie studio, not worth Googling.

Kyle passed away in February of 2013, at a shooting range near Glen Rose, Texas, where he and a second man, Chad Littlefield, were gunned down by a a 25-year-old Marine, Eddie Ray Routh, who had served in Iraq and Haiti.

"Some suggest that, Jesse, you may have damaged your reputation by pursuing a lawsuit against the widow," Charlie Rose drawled yesterday morning to Ventura via satellite, seemingly unaware that the legal proceedings had been set in motion well before author Chris Kyle's death.

"Does it bother you that you might have won the case, but you are certainly getting hammered in the court of public opinion?" CBS This Morning co-host (and Oprah-friend) Gayle King asked, tacking up on screen three ignorant Tweets to bolster her hostile questioning.

His voice booming low, like an incredulous giant trying to reason with an army of Lilliputians, Jesse Ventura, a nice enough paranoid, acquits himself well, as you can see in the above video.

The peculiar vilification of Ventura continued at a CBS affiliate in Minnesota, where hard-hitting reporters wore down shoe leather on shocking allegations of pizza fraud:

Ventura didn't immediately return a message left at his Minneapolis-area home. But his attorney, David Bradley Olsen, said Ventura felt there were "no real winners in this trial."

"He's certainly grateful for the verdict but his reputation with an entire generation of young SEALs may never be repaired," Olsen said, adding, "It is a victory in the sense that the jury did tell the world that Chris Kyle' story is a lie and was a fabrication."

Ventura's family bought a round of pizza for the media who were gathered outside the courtroom, according to the pizza delivery person. There was later speculation that the pizza delivery person's claim was not true. [emphasis added]

Shut the hell up, and eat your free pizza, CBS!

[h/t CBS News, I guess]

To contact the author, email matthew.phelan@gawker.com, pgp public key.