Who ultimately inserted Michelle Obama’s words into Melania Trump’s convention speech? At the root, there can only be two options:

Here is a theory: Jared Kushner blocked Chris Christie from becoming Donald Trump’s vice presidential nominee as revenge for his father.

Less than a week after Pokémon Go’s launch, our streets are already filled with packs of phone-wielding, Weedle-catching zombies. They’re robbing our teens, filling our churches with sinners, and tricking our children into exercising. But worst of all, Pokémon Go is turning us all into an army of narcs in service of the coming New World Order.

If you’ve been even vaguely tuned in to the overactive Hillary Clinton conspiracy mill over the years, you’ve likely heard about the questions of Chelsea Clinton’s paternity. But for those who haven’t, here’s how this song goes: Bill Clinton is sterile, and Chelsea’s real father is Clinton confidant and federal tax evader Webb Hubbell.

Remember when Michelle Obama murdered Joan Rivers a few years ago? Neither do we. But Infowarrior king Alex Jones sure does. And as always, he’s more than happy to offer the answers we seek: Because she revealed FLOTUS’s secret penis to the world, Joan Rivers had to die.

Earlier this week, the National Enquirer published a groundbreaking investigation that would prove fatal to the Ted Cruz campaign: TED CRUZ FATHER LINKED TO JFK ASSASSINATION. But is any of it true? After an exhaustive investigation of our own, Gawker has concluded that, sure, why not!

It seems like every take on Beyonce’s sixth studio album, Lemonade, is just a little bit hotter than the last. Which means that every take probably makes you just a little bit angrier than the last. And apparently, that’s exactly what the CIA wants.

Have you considered the possibility that the United States government wants you to get high today, or at least to talk about getting high today? Specifically today, April 20?

It appears that Ana Gasteyer—the woman who, as Gawker recently exclusively reported, has been masquerading as Ted Cruz’s wife—endorsed Hillary Clinton last night at a fundraiser in Brooklyn.

Yesterday, Gawker brought you an examination of a surprising conspiracy theory that touches the upper reaches of the Republican presidential primary race. Today, one of the conspiracy’s key players confirms that the theory is true—well, part of it, at least.

A dead Supreme Court Justice, a mysterious pillow, missing autopsies, the 10-year anniversary of Dick Cheney shooting a guy in the face, and he was a mere 79 years young. Whether or not these factors have any bearing on what happened to Antonin Scalia is irrelevant, because put together, it’s a conspiracy theorist’s dream come true.

Lotta good conspiracy theories floating around these days. Did Obama’s infamous gang of Pillow Assassins kill Antonin Scalia? Is Trump a false flag candidate for Hillary? Is Ted Cruz secretly still Canadian? Is Ted Cruz secretly still Robert Kardashian Sr.?

On this day, February 2, in the year 2014, newly minted New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio dropped a groundhog from his formidable six-foot six-inch stance. A week later, that very same groundhog was found dead. The Staten Island Zoo claims the two events were unrelated—whether you believe them, is a different matter entirely.

Earlier today, rapper B.o.B. declared to his millions of Twitter followers that, despite everything they’ve been led to believe their entire lives, the earth is flat. And the weirdest part isn’t just that he believes the earth is flat, but that he’s not even remotely alone.

As any good Champion of Truth knows, the alleged moon landing was, of course, an elaborate sham constructed by Hollywood and NASA to distract the rest of the world from our newly acquired Nazi UFO technology. And as any reasonable person knows, that is bullshit. Or—according to a fake new video of a BOMBSHELL fake Stanley Kubrick interview—is it?!

Did the moon landings really happen? I have no clue, I’m not an astronaut, but NASA certainly wants you to think so—they’ve released 8,400 high-res moon landing pictures that they say are definitely real and not at all photoshopped, curiously timed with the release of The Martian, which I’m sure is just a coincidence, right??

“Hi fellow Avril Rangers”: This is the innocuous beginning to what is, perhaps, the best written statement on Canadian pop-punk Nickelback divorcee Avril Lavigne that the internet has ever produced.

A few weeks ago, a Reddit user was watching a gangbang on Pornhub. Just as one of the men was about to ejaculate onto the chest of the woman on the receiving end, something caught the Redditor’s ear. Was that the familiar whine of...Louis C.K.?

Donald Trump, the 69-year-old New York real estate mogul and unrepentant bigot, continues to dominate the Republican presidential primary polls. Trump’s sudden ascendance, accelerated by his willingness to insult virtually any ostensible ally within the conservative movement, has left GOP leaders dumbfounded. How did this caricature of a Republican politician, who has never held elected office, and whose personal ideology is remarkably fluid, usurp more experienced, more conservative, and better-funded candidates like Jeb Bush and Scott Walker? Within this vacuum of understanding, an almost-believable conspiracy theory has obtained currency: Donald Trump is in fact a false flag candidate whose actual mission is electing Hillary Clinton as President.

On June 19, a fisherman found the body of Dr. James Bradstreet—a forceful proponent of the bunk theory that vaccines are linked to autism—in a North Carolina river, with a gunshot wound through his chest. Three days later, chiropractors Bruce Hedendal and Baron Holt were separately found dead, and eight days after that, Dr. Theresa Sievers was murdered in her home. What the hell is going on here?